


Just A Few Heartbeats Away

by redeyedwrath



Series: Sterek Tumblr Ficlets [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 01:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7554676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redeyedwrath/pseuds/redeyedwrath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Stiles has a heart like gold and Derek would like to paint constellations on his skin with his fingertips, dancing over the surface like piano keys, but instead he swallows and looks away because Derek ruins everything he touches."</p><p>Or, an AU where they're in high school together and Derek's ridiculously in love with Stiles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Few Heartbeats Away

**Author's Note:**

> So, um, hi? Technically this was supposed to be added onto my Tumblr Ficlets collection, but this fic means so much to me that I had to post it seperately. I'm not expecting a lot of people to read it because it's so short, but to those who do, I love you and thanks so much <3
> 
> This was beta'd by [Jamie](http://okamiaki.tumblr.com) and I would apologize for making their heart hurt but that'd be a lie.
> 
> Also! Just a **WARNING:** Derek and Erica have kind of an intense friendship in this, but they're _not_ in love. If this makes you uncomfortable, it'd be best to skip this one.

_I've always tried to remind her_  
_That the future's_    
_Just a few heartbeats away_  
_From disaster_

**\- Kissing in Cars, Pierce the Veil**

-

“Have you ever been in love?”

Erica is right next to him, their fingers brushing, sharing body heat as they stare up at the ceiling. Her head’s on his arm, his fingers curled around her shoulder. He feels safe here, at home, with Erica right next to him.

She shifts, curling her body up next to his and pokes him over and over again until Derek’s laughing and wrestling her wrists away from him. She’s smiling up at him, her eyes shining with laughter and Derek doesn’t ever want to leave.

“I asked you a question, you loser,” she says and relaxes her muscles, letting him lie down on top of her.

He thinks about it for a second. Has he ever been in love? He’s had a boyfriend before, he’s been rejected before, but love?

“I don’t know,” he mumbles into her shoulder, her hair brushing against his cheek. “I guess.”

“You guess, huh?” she says, running her fingers through his hair. He wants to sink into her, just stay here, because this feels nice. Having someone care for him feels nice. “What about Matthew?”

He snorts, burying his face into the junction between her neck and her shoulder. He’d loved Matthew, he really had. Just not in the right way.

“I wasn’t in love with him,” he murmurs, hoping she doesn’t catch it. It’s not really something he’s ready to admit, because he was supposed to be. He was supposed to return Matthew’s compliments and his kisses but he just - he couldn’t.

“Wait,” Erica says as she pushes him back, straddling his hips in return. “Seriously?”

He nods, refusing to look her in the eye. He doesn’t know if he can handle the judgement he’ll find there, because Matthew loved him, Matthew fucking _idolized_ him.

“That’s okay.” She leans down until her head hits his chest, her ear right over where his heart’s beating so loud it’s deafening. He looks down at her, the crown of her head, the quiet acceptance of everything he stands for and he almost wants to cry. Instead he just hugs her, pulls her tight against him until there’s no space left, yet they’re not close enough.

“How about you?” he asks her when they’ve been silent for a few minutes, a comfortable kind of quiet where there’s no need to say or do anything, where the only thing they do is exist in each other’s company. “Have you been in love?”

“I think so,” she says, her hand resting against his abdomen.

“What does it feel like?”

It’s a question that’s been on his mind for a long time, one he’s always wanted to ask because he doesn’t _know_ what love is. She shrugs, her shoulder digging into his side for a second.

“It’s different for everyone I guess. For me it’s-” she pauses, taking a deep breath to gather her thoughts. He squeezes her shoulder in encouragement. “It’s kind of all-consuming, you know? You just want to give them everything you have and want to take everything they’ll give.”

“Sounds scary,” he says, because it does. He can’t imagine ever wanting to share himself that deeply with someone.

“It is.”

-

He meets Stiles when he switches classes at the beginning of the year. It’s probably not even true: he’s seen Stiles around - of course he has, he knows what every student in his school looks like - he’s just never really paid attention to him.

Stiles is, for lack of better words, a complete and total dick. He doesn’t know when to shut his mouth, provokes people, makes jokes at the expense of others and Derek _hates_ his guts.

“What do you think of our new class?” Derek asks Boyd. Boyd is new at this school, he moved from Los Angeles to Beacon Hills and Derek immediately took a liking to him. He’s quiet, stoic. It’s a nice change of pace.

“They’re okay,” Boyd says, shrugging. Their class is divided into two groups: the nerds and the - well - ‘popular’ people. They’d been invited into the nerds’ group with enthusiasm. They’re all accepting, they all know Derek’s gay and they don’t care and Derek’s almost a little in love with all of them.

“Anyone you don’t really like?” Derek asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“Stiles, definitely.”

Derek nods in agreement. In the first four weeks of school he’s already managed to piss a few teachers off, and he’s had detention at least once.

Stiles is, simply, a dick.

-

Derek first notices Stiles at the beginning of their second year together. He may have spent an entire year ignoring Stiles, but even Derek isn’t blind and there’s something about Stiles that captures his attention. He can’t really pinpoint what it is, but there’s something about Stiles that’s captivating to watch.

Boyd whispers something in his ear, a question about their math homework and Derek tears his gaze away. He shouldn’t look at Stiles, Stiles is a dick, there’s _nothing_ about Stiles that’s nice.

-

He probably should’ve noticed he was fucked the moment his new nervous habit became bouncing a pen around in his fingers. It’s an addictive, repetitive movement that calms down his thoughts when there’s a wall of text in front of him he can’t focus on.

Stiles makes a joke about their English teacher - the rivalry between those two is something their entire grade probably knows about - and Derek can’t hold back his laughter, throws his head back as it washes over him.

He stops when he notices Boyd is frowning at him, the corner of his mouth turned down. Derek raises an eyebrow as a question, but Boyd just looks away.

It isn’t until later that he realizes he laughed at one of Stiles’ jokes, but Stiles is funny sometimes. Besides, if Erica is friends with Stiles, he can’t be _that_ bad.

-

One of the first things Derek noticed about Stiles is that he’s kind of out of proportion. There’s something about him that just doesn’t fit right, and it makes the way he moves hypnotizing. There’s a certain fluidity to his movement, even though there probably shouldn’t be, and Derek can never really look away from it.

He tells himself that’s all there is to it. It wouldn’t be the first time Derek’s captivated by movement, and Stiles is a kind of enigma when it comes to moving.

Derek watches as Stiles sits down on a chair, the way he immediately slumps forward and leans on his hands, his back forming a perfect half of a circle. His long fingers tap an idle rhythm against his pen and Derek watches the tendons stretch, the bones move.

He shakes his head to get out of it. He shouldn’t be watching Stiles. Stiles is bad news.

-

“Are you in love with someone?” Erica asks him out of the blue one evening. They’re both lying in his bed again, curled up against each other as if the other’s shielding them from the harsh truths reality brings with it.

Their conversations always seem to come down to this. Love - and being social in general - is an important part of who you are when you’re a teenager, and Erica can’t shut up about her latest crush.

Derek just lies there, a crushing weight forming as he realizes that yes - yes he’s in love. It’s a tidal wave, drowning him even though he’s not moving, a storm finally catching up with him as he stands still and looks up and realizes _yes._

“Hey,” Erica says, her hands flying over his face. “Hey, are you okay?”

He barely manages a nod, as he thinks _yesyesyesyes_.

He’s in love with Stiles.

-

It doesn’t get easier, after that. He talks to Erica about it, can’t _stop_ talking about it. He sleeps, eats, and breathes Stiles. Sometimes, when it’s two in the morning and Derek can’t sleep, he lets his mind wander. He thinks about it, about hugging Stiles, pulling him close and kissing him, whispering “I love you, I love you, I love you,” into his hair because Stiles is a wonderful person and Derek’s in love with him.

Derek can’t stop looking at him and it’s driving him insane, because Derek looks at him and all he can think is that he’s not good enough. Stiles has a heart like gold and Derek would like to paint constellations on his skin with his fingertips, dancing over the surface like piano keys, but instead he swallows and looks away because Derek ruins everything he touches.

Stiles is nice and warm and everything Derek’s not, everything Derek wants to be and it’s enough to make him envious and enough to make him fall so hard his heart drops down into his stomach, because he knows it’s never going to happen.

He watches Stiles throw his head back with laughter, and it makes everything in him want to scream and cry, want to drop to his knees, and want to laugh with him. Derek wants to share everything with Stiles, he wants to get to know him, but they never talk so he’s not going to.

He stares across the room instead, his head spinning with possibilities as the stars in Stiles shine bright and never dim.

-

They fight about it sometimes, he and Erica. He gets it. Erica’s friends with both of them, has been friends with Stiles longer than she’s been friends with Derek. She just wants them both to be happy.

It makes Derek envious sometimes, that she gets to spend so much time with Stiles. She doesn’t waste an opportunity to talk about it, either.

 **Erica:** Dude I could be so cruel rn  
**Erica:** And like talk about how he’s lying on his stomach  
**Erica:** With his glasses on, being a nerd  
**Erica:** Challenging me to play chess later  
**Erica:** But I won’t  
**Erica:** ‘Cause I’m not that cruel  
**Erica:** Oh wait

Derek feels himself flush, heart pounding away in his chest as he thinks about Stiles like that, staring up at him from under his eyelashes, a gentle smirk on his face and a twinkle in his eyes as he challenges Derek to do something about it. He slams his phone down onto the table, ignoring the way his hands are trembling.

Laura raises an eyebrow questioningly but Derek just shakes his head, shoving another piece of bread into his mouth. They don’t need to know, Derek doesn’t want them to know. Stiles is _his secret_.

 **Derek:** ERICA  
**Derek:** I SWEAR TO GOD  
**Derek:** I JUST ALMOST BROKE MY PHONE BECAUSE I SLAMMED IT ON THE TABLE

He just gets a laughing emoji back. Derek hates her.

-

Stiles looks at him sometimes. Derek’s not sure if he’s imagining it or not, but when he asks Boyd about it, Boyd just shrugs and says, “He does, sometimes.”

Derek can’t stop smiling. People tell him they’re freaked out but Derek shrugs them off. Stiles _looks_ at him.

It’s only during chem that things that a turn for the worst. Harris is, as per usual, the worst teacher in the world, constantly picking on students for being smarter than he is. Derek just rolls his eyes and sinks down into his chair, trying not to bounce his pen in between his fingers.

He turns around when he hears something drop onto the floor next to him. He picks up the pen and looks for the owner, and that’s when he sees Stiles expectantly staring at him.

“Is this yours?” Derek whispers, ignoring the way his heart is pounding. Stiles’ answering smile is soft, with crinkles around his eyes and a twinkle and Derek feels himself melt.

“Thanks,” Stiles whispers back as he plucks the pen from Derek’s fingers, brushing against the pads of them.

Derek feels the heat of Stiles’ skin until he goes home.

-

“I just don’t understand why you’re giving up on this before it can start!” Erica yells. Derek shrugs and looks down at his hands, ignores the way his chest is constricting with every breath.

“It’s just- someone like Stiles would never like me,” he mumbles.

“Oh honey,” Erica sighs, putting an arm around his shoulders. “Don’t be like that.”

Derek’s head shoots up to glare at her but she just rolls her eyes and squeezes his shoulders. He leans into her, grateful for her friendship.

“Do you think I have a chance?” he asks, because Derek might feel like he knows Stiles in and out, but Erica’s the one who actually does.

“Yes,” she says after awhile, her hair tickling his skin. “Yes, I do.”

He squeezes her hand. She means the world to him.

-

Derek’s just pulling on his coat when it happens. He’s checking his pockets for his keys and gloves, because it’s freezing outside and he’s not willing to die yet, when he glances up at Stiles, who’s standing across the room, leaning against a pillar.

Stiles is looking at him, avidly watching as Derek pats himself down and Derek feels himself freeze, then flush. Stiles smiles softly, wickedly, and Derek’s breathless with how much he wants to kiss Stiles.

“What are you looking at, bro?” Scott says, turning around to follow Stiles’ line of sight, frowning when he sees Derek. Derek gives Scott a weak smile and a wave before he rushes out into the cold weather.

“Why were you looking at Derek?” Scott asks Stiles, and when Derek looks back Stiles is still looking at him, a twinkle in his eyes.

“It’s nothing, Scott,” Stiles says, patting Scott on the shoulder before winking at Derek.

Derek’s glad his cheeks are already red from the cold.

-

The next time he and Erica hang out, Erica’s suspiciously happy. He narrows his eyes at her and asks her why, but she just smiles - an even bigger smile, Christ - and shakes her head. Derek interprets it as “Just wait and see.”

It’s making him antsy, Erica’s happiness, fills him with nerves and apprehension and millions of _what if_ ’s. He lays a hand on his abdomen, absentmindedly rubbing over the fabric of his sleep shirt as he stares up at the ceiling.

He can picture Stiles perfectly, if he tries hard enough. Those long eyelashes, a soft, pink mouth, and upturned nose, those gorgeous, long fingers and broad palms. Derek thinks Stiles is the prettiest person he’s ever seen.

That doesn’t change, unfortunately, when Stiles corners him at school the next day. Derek can’t stop staring at his mouth, his fingers, his forearms, the tendons in his neck. Stiles just smirks, taking a step forward.

“Hey,” Stiles says, and Derek feels like he’s gonna throw up because this is the first time Stiles has voluntarily talked to him and he feels like he’s going to _die_.

“Hey,” he murmurs back, trying to get his breathing under control.

“So I was wondering,” Stiles starts, glancing down at his fingers and taking a deep breath before resolutely looking Derek in the eye. “If you wanted to go out with me, maybe?”

“Oh my god, _yes_.”

Stiles’ answering smile is blinding, all teeth and crinkles and Derek can’t help but smile back, because he’s so in love with Stiles that it’s _ridiculous_.

“Great,” Stiles says and Derek can’t help but agree.

Later that day, when Derek gets home and Laura takes to teasing him because he has a date, he opens up his chat with Erica and types:

 **Derek:** DID YOU KNOW  
**Derek:** DID YOU KNOW HE WAS GONNA ASK ME OUT

Erica’s response is instantaneous and Derek rolls his eyes. He wouldn’t put it above her to check her phone obsessively throughout the day, knowing Stiles was gonna ask him out.

 **Erica:** Maybe ;)

 **Derek:** THANK YOU

He smiles down at his phone as he locks it. He really does love Erica, but he’s in love with Stiles.

And Stiles? Stiles might just be in love with him too.

**Author's Note:**

> So phew, that was a thing? I hope you liked it even though it was so short... Please tell me what you thought? Comments are greatly appreciated <3
> 
>  
> 
> [I also have a Tumblr? You can prompt me if you want, or talk to me. I promise I'm nice](http://demisexualhale.tumblr.com)


End file.
